In my previous posts I took on my relationship to correcting mistakes, which I am still very much walking. To clarify, I’m using mistakes in a broad sense of mis-takes. Where you had a take, you had an opportunity for something, but you let it slide, or didn’t create the optimal conditions for that particular instance or scenario.
Now, I’ve been banging my head (I wish I could say I just ‘looked’ and ‘introspected – but got to be honest, it wasn’t all that graceful) with the term Manifested Consequence.
Every action has a reaction, every input an output. Every initiation has a consequence.
Hence – Manifested Consequence.
This is where the results of your actions have manifested themselves that it’s ‘too late’ to do something about it or prevent it, it’s already here.
Like smacking a vase with a hammer. You can maybe glue it back together, but it’s not going to be the same vase. There’s going to be weaknesses, you can then learn not to smack other vases, but the other one’s going to forever show what you did with it.
When you cheat on someone, when you’re dishonest and relationships get damaged – there is no ‘going back to how things were before’. You can’t undo that act. You can introspect as to why you did what you did, and make the necessary changes within you so you don’t repeat it again – but the people or person involved may not want to have anything to do with you anymore. Maybe they forgive you, but it doesn’t erase the act. You’re all different people know – even if you let go and change.
Some Manifested Consequences are generational – like our economic system, political affairs, ecological collapse. You can’t go ‘I want a perfect beautiful planet with everyone living in harmony and I want it now!!’ We can work towards a better future, but we can’t save all of the thousands if not millions of people and animals suffering and dying, right now. That’s our Manifested Consequence. That’s our cross to bear.
What I found in the past few weeks, is that I can get really caught up in Manifested Consequence. Where something is ‘too late’, ‘already done’ , ‘got to face the music’ type of scenarios. I will squirm and pull and whine and tear at it, to try and make it go away. That this whole thing, is just so unfucking fair. That this shouldn’t be here. Where I’m focusing all my time and energy on trying to move or even just shake – a solid wall that’s not gonna go anywhere. While in the meantime being surrounded by so many things that could use my attention, things that I can affect and change that slip me by completely.
Which is exactly the point I had missed. One evening in breaking my head over how I could possible change or reverse something, I was just feeling more and more and more at a loss. I felt shittier by the thought. While doing Self Forgiveness on believing that I ‘cannot affect a change on this’ and my disempowerment in relation to the Manifested Consequence (hoping I would gain some trust and confidence) – the pressure inside only compounded. My eyes fill up and I was ready to break down – when I asked myself ‘What’s the real point? Cause THIS is not IT’
In my forgiveness, I was more and more trying to dissolve the Manifested Consequence through forgiveness, to try and ‘forgive it away’. But that’s just not possible. I saw that there were things I could do to ameliorate the situation for myself, to do things different from now on – but even there, I didn’t even want to go there – unless I knew it was going to be absolutely reversible. That’s when I realized how very conditional I had been in many of my applications. Where I would change, push and do things – but only cause in the back of my mind I have a clearly defined result that I’m expecting to get back from it.
I had been so angry and frustrated at this wall that wouldn’t move, not even shake. This stupid, unfair fucking wall – that I completely missed and side stepped the issue of my own self-integrity.
I read Lao Tzu’s ‘Manifested Consequence’ article again on the Desteni website, that had been conveniently circulating in my newsfeed.
The article starts foreboding:
Not that it is actually foreboding, it’s stating a simple truth. Just truth I hadn’t allowed myself to swallow completely.
But once I did take that moment to swallow it, it was actually a huge relief. It was a moment of grace.
Because I had been bashing on myself hard and long, for things I couldn’t change, things that were outside of my reach. And now, I could let them go. Now, I could focus on things I could change.
And then the fear set in.
That ‘what if I don’t have what it takes to change all the way?’
And that’s when I realized that this fear is what got me to fixate on Manifested Consequence, got me to fixate on things that I cannot change. So that I could tell myself ‘I’m working on change’ – but have no tangible results to speak for. As if writing out my homework on a computer that wasn’t even plugged in and still insist that I AM DOING MY HOMEWORK! CAN’T YOU SEE ME TYPE AWAY??
Another key point mentioned in the article, is that we ourselves exist as Manifested Consequence. We’re the result of all our past thoughts, decisions, choices, actions, inactions, acceptances and allowances – not only this lifetime – but all time. Who we are is malleable however, and we can create ourselves as a New Manifested Consequence, one by design, one through our awareness in doing, being and living that which is Best for All, in every single moment. That potential is there – but we’ve got to start with where we’re at. And unless we accept and acknowledge all of what we accepted and allowed ourselves to become, we’ll always be at war with ourselves, trying to change something from the starting point of ‘undoing’ of ‘not having it be there’ – which necessarily makes you miss exactly those lessons you need to integrate to change and prevent the same from happening again. Cause otherwise it’s not about changing your ways for the sake of being a better person, but just having that one shitty aspect of yourself out of your sight cause you can’t stand your own self-judgment.
This is where I had to step into humbleness, accept the Manifested Consequence and to change, to do my best in all areas of my life – regardless if it was going to affect this one particular point that nagged me, or not. To do it unconditionally. To do what I can to ameliorate the situation involved, but to not let it take over to the extent that it starts compromising into other areas. Cause if I don’t, I’ll just create more Manifested Consequence that I can keep feeling ashamed, guilty and regretful about and diminish myself more and more over time. And it hurts to accept it, it hurts to embrace it and acknowledge it for what it is – but I can use that hurt to drive my focus, to move me into excellence instead of whining about what cannot be undone.