About 11 years ago, I noticed a tumor beginning to grow in a certain area of my body. With western medical practitioners treating such conditions (from my point of view) mostly by focusing on and attempting to eliminate the consequential outflow or the tumor itself and don’t look into identifying and correcting the cause of it, I decided that I would need to look into this aspect for myself. The thing is, whenever I looked into myself at this point in an effort to figure out what was causing an energy to build up leading to an excess growth of physical mass in that area, all saw (as a picture of my mind consciousness system in relation to my physical body) was a blacked out area in front of the problematic area that I wanted to look at. It was as though a part of me had essentially closed off all access to this particular area of my physical body, as though I was even denying myself access to this area.
As the area that I’m speaking of forms one of my testicles, I wasn’t really very comfortable communicating with others about it, nor is it something I really enjoy writing about now. However, as this has turned out to be a very important point for me, almost like a milestone in my personal process or journey of expanding my self-awareness, I will expand a little more on what I received from working with and communicating with Leila.
Actually, instead of attempting to write a book, I think I’ll just sum it up. In communicating with Leila, as soon as she mentioned the word, barrier or fence (as I recall) in relation to this area, it was like a straight line from cause to consequence appeared in front of me (in my mind’s eye) for me to visualize. And in that same moment, I connected all or most of the dots showing me how, where and even (to an extent) when I myself had begun causing or creating the energy buildup or imbalance in my body.
As for that cause (in short), about ten or eleven years ago, feeling basically disgusted with myself for chasing my sexual desires, fulfilling them only to want more, I decided that I had had enough with the whole scene and was no longer going to allow a sex system to dictate to me how I was going to be in relation to women. However, without understanding what I was actually doing to myself, I ended up placing an energetic barrier or fence around that area of my body, the sex system, thereby suppressing the flow of energy, which in turn ended up physically manifesting as too much, too more or tumor cellular growth.
Having identified the source of the problem, I’m now in the process of correcting it.